What do you do when you realize that you feel like your empty inside. A hallow soul...

I often feel like this even though i rarely show it to those that would be affected by this. But today my emotional mask is failing me and i am merely fortunate that though it is my b-day and i am one year closer to the day i die or find my purpose in life. I am also fortunate that i had no one near me to witness the dispare that i feel and that i am certain is written well on my face. This is a message to my friends, I feel so cold inside, as though nothing can warm me. You know what the funny thing is though, I have all i could imagine i could want or need. I have friends ( even if i haven't seen them in 2 years) I have a solid respectable job. It pays well enough that i could get anything i would want within reason. Despite the fact that i scarcely eat except when i am in front of people so they think i am healthy, I could eat when i wanted or needed. But I feel like part of me is missing sometimes. Like i am mearly walking through life as a ghost, looking for my other half that has gone missing.

I write this so that someone can read this, i write this cause i am asking for help. Because though i make myself appear strong and try to be a support for any that are in need of me, My strength is failing me. My pillar is hallow. So i am asking those around me to help me through this, cause i don't think that i can do this on my own. It has been eating away at me for many years... And i no longer know what to do. I feel lost.... Help me find meaning in my life when i am in such darkness and dispare. For without help i surly will fall.

To all my friends and anyone who reads this...

I love you and/or thank you